sorei-yu.

Recently the ceiling light in my room broke, which isn't normally a reason I would want to write a whole post about it, but unfortunately because it's so dark in my room I haven't been able to journal on paper. I'm sure someone will peek over my shoulder to see what I'm writing anywhere else in the house so... I'm just going to have to settle for this instead. Even now I'm writing in almost complete darkness since my computer is also in my room. Almost. The light from the living room is giving me the tiny amount of light that makes my computer useable even in this darkness without burning my eyes, which I'm really grateful for. Never knew I'd want for a light as badly as I do right now. I know it's just a small thing and I could just leave my room and hang out in the living room instead, but it's not quite the same. Hopefully the light gets fixed soon. Today I also got my first dose of the COVID vaccine. I was anxious the whole time before I

Recently it's been a little difficult to keep my thoughts organised. They keep jumping everywhere at once, and once I get distracted from a train of thought it's very difficult to recall what it was. In the same vein, it's been incredibly difficult for me to remember things recently, and I'm never sure whether it's because every day is so similar and it's all blending together, or if my memory is just slowly starting to fail me. Or maybe it's because my attention span is just slowly getting shorter and shorter because of how much crap the internet is feeding my brain. Maybe I just need to be more mindful about what I'm thinking, and take more notice of the things around me instead of just dismissing them as "just how they've always been". My attention span now is so short I can't even get through writing this short of a post without checking my phone once for notifications, and my phone isn't even on silent so it's not like I wo

On the subject of shows that depict the darkness in the hearts of humans... Shows like 闇金ウシジマくん , Black Mirror and more recently, Girl from Nowhere ... I really enjoy watching these messed up shows, but it's more than a little disconcerting how realistic some of these depictions are. I suppose that's the whole point of these shows, though, so they're doing really well in fulfilling their purpose. Human nature is so scary. That's the one thing that comes to mind when I watch these shows. I tried to write more, but the words just don't come out properly. I think it's a little too deep of a concept for my tiny brain to attempt to put into words. I'm already fairly scared of people as is, but these shows really make it worse. You can never really tell when someone you trust will suddenly betray you and throw you under the bus to save their own hide, just like in these shows. Of course, you can't possibly healthily live life being in fear of these situations

 "You argue and you bicker and you fight, atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night over what they think is true but no one every entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you" I love the lyrics of this song . It really gives you a lot to think about. If everyone was just a little more kinder to each other, maybe life wouldn't be as difficult as it is now, with so much conflict and fighting breaking out everywhere. To begin with, why can't everyone just respect that people have different beliefs and different factors that drive them in life? ... Though, as I write that, I'm sure I'm guilty of that same thing myself. It's impossible to fully understand another person, so maybe it would be easier if we just stopped trying and just accepted it for what it is. Unfortunately it just never is that easy. I do want to take steps in a better direction so I can be a bit more of a better person, though. Even if I can never reach the

I think it's fascinating how games have their own visual language. I also think it's fascinating how people who aren't gamers find it difficult to understand what games are trying to say when I, as a gamer, understand the visual cues with just a glance. Hell, even before visual cues, knowing by instinct which buttons I'll likely have to press to control characters is also a whole part of the gaming 'language' all on its own. I've witnessed it personally with acquaintances, though it was a video on YouTube that really made me come to the realisation why some people are so bad at games. Perhaps they're not 'bad', per se. Maybe these people just don't understand the same language that I do. It would make sense. I don't have to think much to form sentences in English, just like how it doesn't take much for me to understand a glowing point in a game means it's something of interest, something that should be investigated. It's a li